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Animal-Rights Activists Who Defaced Iowa State Fair Butter Cow Inspire Song

The Daily Maul presents Monty Gelstein and his Badass Band of Brutes performing “The Butter Cow,” an irreverent bluegrass waltz inspired by animal-rights activists’ defacement of the sacred “butter cow” sculpture at the 2013 Iowa State Fair.

For your singing-along pleasure, here are the lyrics to “The Butter Cow”:

So sacred is the cow made of butter
You’d think it’s the patron dairy saint
So imagine the corn-fed histrionics
When the sculpture was doused with red paint

Oh, spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave
Spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave

Even when they had the balls to write “freedom for all”
You refused to acknowledge the lives lost
Your only answer is to slight those who fight for animal rights
Because you can’t deny the holocaust

Oh, spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave
Spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave

“Fuck the animals,” you say, “let them eat hay,
Don’t enlighten the farmer’s daughter”
Because if you get her to think about what she eats and drinks
She just might put an end to the slaughter

Oh, spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave
Spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave
Oh, spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave
Spare me your victimhood-based outrage
That the evolved among us would deface your precious butter slave

Lyrics by David Brensilver. Music by David Brensilver and Mike Frishman. Performed by Monty Gelstein and his Badass Band of Brutes. Recorded and engineered by Mike Frishman at GeraMi Production Studio, Norwich, Conn.

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