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Category Archives: Hyperbolic Humans

Again, U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance Claims Hunters are Victims

One cannot take pleasure in killing and at the same time bitch about being bullied. But we’ve come to expect that kind of pants-soiling whining from the brain-dead thugs at the U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance. Earlier this month, that wretched gang of twisted monsters rushed to the defense of a dim-witted terrorist named Jeff Thomason, who can’t understand why anyone […]

Dear Bindi Irwin: Shut the F*@K Up

In a recent interview with Who magazine — an Australian version of People, and not, unfortunately, a periodical dedicated to the legendary British rock band — Bindi Irwin bitched about details of her father’s brutal death being made public. In March, on a Network Ten (Australia) TV show called Studio 10, a cameraman named Justin Lyons, who witnessed Steve Irwin […]

Animal-Rights Advocates are “Bad Guys,” U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance Says

In July 2013, Doug Jeanneret, the U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance’s vice president of marketing, complained petulantly that trapping is “under attack.” In response, I told Doug that his “victimhood-based lament … has the pathetic stench of a bunch of terrorists whining about not having any friends.” “It’s impossible not to be insulted by your paradoxical claim that […]

Western Australia Shark Cull Reminds Us Which is the Most Dangerous of All Species

Yesterday, protesters in Western Australia and across the country gathered on the moral high ground to voice their horrified outrage at a formally declared War on Sharks that will continue at least through April. The “cull” — an uninspired euphemism for “state-sanctioned slaughter” — is ostensibly being carried out in the interest of public safety. […]

Hunting Super PAC Raising Money to Control Vacuous Message

A relatively new super PAC called the Hunter Defense Fund is hoping to capitalize on the U.S. Supreme Court’s lamentable 2010 ruling on Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. The Hunter Defense Fund, whose pitiful slogan is “the first line of defense for hunters,” was established earlier this year “to elect candidates willing to take […]

U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance Apoplectic Over Anti-Hunting Promotion

The mouth-breathing knuckle-draggers at the U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance are apoplectic over the fact that an anti-hunting organization delivered its message to nearly 18,000 basketball fans at the Minnesota Timberwolves’ Oct. 30 game against the Orlando Magic. U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance Foundation President and CEO Nick Pinizzotto was quoted in a Nov. 1 public word-tantrum as saying, […]

On the Paradoxical Claim that Trapping is “Under Attack”

The following letter was sent to Doug Jeanneret, the U.S. Sportsmen’s Alliance’s vice president of marketing. Dear Doug, you arrogant bastard, I’ve been meaning to take you to task for your ill-conceived piece of propaganda, “Our Oldest Outdoor Tradition,” in which you cited Benjamin Franklin’s famous rallying cry, “We must, indeed, all hang together, or […]

Why Hunters Shouldn’t Invoke Hitler When Whining About Animal-Rights Advocates

It should come as no surprise that an enthusiastic participant in the slaughter of certain populations isn’t able to appreciate the irony of invoking Hitler when complaining about the outraged resistance. Case in point: Tony Makris, the bloodlust-full host of a recently canceled hunting show called Under Wild Skies, inadvertently revealed his intellectual shortcomings (among […]

Massachusetts Official: Euthanizing (Shooting) Bear was “Last Resort”

Not to be outdone by their counterparts in Connecticut, who “executed a black bear who dared to behave like a black bear on private property,” as reported here yesterday, gestapo officers in Massachusetts have assassinated a black bear who threatened to inconvenience motorists. As Newton Tab reporter Trevor Jones explained in a June 3 news […]

After Cape Cod Shark Attack, Manage Humans, not Seals

Christopher Myers’ recent encounter with a shark in waters off Cape Cod has led to all the usual conversations about what we could and should be doing to keep swimmers safe. Myers was bodyboarding with his son J.J. on Monday when he was bitten by what Dr. Greg Skomal, a biologist with the Massachusetts Department […]