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Category Archives: Sky Maul

Clone Haast’s Eagle to “Manage” Hunter Population

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE NEW LONDON COUNTY, CT – December 21, 2012 Contact: Monty Gelstein (860) 823-7410 Scientists: Clone Haast’s Eagle to “Manage” Hunter Population The Center for Fewer Humans has announced that it will attempt to clone the long-extinct Haast’s eagle, a species whose fearsome reputation has been on many scientific minds since a […]

Learning to Fly in Protected Airspace

Police and city officials in Everett, Washington, have appropriately resisted any urge to engage dive-bombing crows. Still, “some have complained about being attacked,” according to The Herald’s Rikki King. And, in the KING-TV video report provided above, one area resident — a mouth-breather named Mark Convey — tells reporter Gary Chittim: “I say shoot the […]

Barbarian Killed By Cockfighting Rooster

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy The good news is: A cockfighting enthusiast is dead. The bad news is: Five roosters are dead as a result of being forced to fight one another to the death on January 30, 2011. In his voice-over for the video clip provided above, […]

“Savage of Centerville” May Not Have Acted Alone

A source tells me that the wild turkey who attacked a mail delivery truck on Cape Cod last week may not have acted alone. A senior official from Birds United for Regular Delivery, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “Never believe in coincidences.” “I assume you’re familiar with the Dive Bomber of Bayview,” he said, […]

Ravishankar: Peaceful in the Face of “Feathered Vengeance”

A 60-year-old man in India is accepting the violence being visited on him by an angry crow and should be applauded for handling the situation appropriately. From The Telegraph (Calcutta): “For more than a month, he has been the hapless victim of a persistent and predatory crow that has attacked him whenever he has stepped […]

Avoid Hawk Attacks: Don’t Move Atypically

Mail is once again being delivered to the well-to-do residents of a sleepy Canadian neighborhood after a Swainson’s hawk caused a suspension of service two weeks ago. In June, one mail carrier in particular became the target of a “dive-bombing raptor,” to quote the Calgary Herald. “The attacks began in June, but the carrier continued […]