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Dead Hunters Museum Theater Planned for Chicago

Chicago – April 1, 2013

Contact: Monty Gelstein

Dead Hunters Museum Theater Planned for Chicago

Chicago’s burgeoning Logan Square neighborhood is expected to become something of a mecca for those involved in the anti-hunting movement, when the nation’s first cultural organization dedicated to celebrating the deaths of so-called “sportsmen” opens its doors a year from now.

According to The Daily Maul’s David Brensilver, a planned Dead Hunters Museum Theater will feature, among other conventional and interactive exhibits, “live reenactments of spectacular predator-on-hunter attacks.”

Brensilver, who’ll curate the museum’s collections and oversee its programs, said the long-overdue establishment of the organization has been made possible by a generous gift from philanthropist and self-described “successful-animal-on-human-attack connoisseur” Monty Gelstein.

Reached at Chicago’s timelessly splendid Drake Hotel, Gelstein said the Dead Hunters Museum Theater will be located “in a former public-library building whose doors were closed years ago, when the culturally incurious stopped reading.”

In addition to footing an estimated $66 million renovation bill, Gelstein said he’s endowed the nonprofit Dead Hunters Museum Theater with “the funds required to operate and maintain the organization for generations to come.”

Brensilver plans to hold auditions in Chicago this summer for a full-time Dead Hunters Theater cast, whose members will be expected to perform a vast repertoire based on commentaries published at The Daily Maul.

“I’m looking for like-minded actors, performers who’ll be comfortable playing a variety of species including the drooling-class knuckle-draggers who’ll meet their much-deserved ends, over and over again, in our schadenfreude-jones-fixing reenactments,” Brensilver said.

The museum’s exhibits will showcase dead hunters’ remains, autopsy reports and photographs, and information about each remarkable animal who dispatched his or her savage, would-be murderer.

The Dead Hunters Museum Theater, which Brensilver said will be free and open to subscribers of The Daily Maul, will also house a gift shop and a vegan restaurant, the proceeds from which will be donated to a nationwide campaign to take private hunting grounds by eminent domain.

“Our goal is to protect other species from bloodlust-full humans, while luxuriating in the removal from this planet of a portion of the drooling-class,” Brensilver said.

Actors and actresses interested in auditioning for full-time positions with the Dead Hunters Museum Theater should apply in the comments section below.

One Comment

  1. Ana Merci wrote:

    Assume that some of the unfortunate hunters will be stuffed and others will have their heads wall mounted, with those realistic glass eyes. I’ve always wanted to dress a dummy in camo and orange cap, strap to my SUV and drive around town on the opening day of bow hunt season. But you’ve got the real thing! Well done!

    Tuesday, April 2, 2013 at 8:18 am | Permalink

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