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Giant Anteaters Fatally Maul Hunters in Brazil

Photo by Anagoria

Photo by Anagoria

Imagine my delight upon reading the headline “Two Hunters Attacked and Killed by Giant Anteaters in Brazil.” Anteaters? Who knew? But hell, I’ll take it. And I hope the hunters suffered.

In two equally satisfying incidents — one in 2012, the other two years earlier — anteaters used their claws to fatally stab Brazilian savages. Each useless human bled to death (slowly, I hope) as a result of his deserved injuries.

An article by Fiona Keating in the International Business Times indicates that “the case studies of two fatal maulings by giant anteaters were released in the journal Wilderness and Environmental Medicine.”

Unfortunately, that journal’s website is only granting me access to an abstract of “Human Death Caused by a Giant Anteater (Myrmecophaga trydactila) in Brazil,” which at least provides a few gory details. (Now imagine my excitement upon noticing an “Images” tab on that same Web page. Alas, there are no photos of the anteater maulings, so I’ll have to use my imagination.)

In her International Business Times report, Keating explains that “wildlife researchers are concerned that the attacks happened because of the loss of the animals’ habitat, which may cause them to defend themselves.”

Note to “wildlife researchers”: Is this really just dawning on you? 

Clearly, these people are studying the wrong species’ behavior. I, on the other hand, have long had all the evidence and reason I need to root for the anteaters.

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