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Hunters Shooting at Same Deer Results in Dead Hunter

Photo by U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration

A researcher at the Center for Fewer Humans believes that the karmic balance is directly influenced by coronal mass ejections. In The Effects of Solar Phenomena on the Karmic Balance, Marcus Aurelius Armitage wrote that the recent death of a deer hunter in Maine provided “incontrovertible evidence that CMEs have a disproportionate, adverse impact on the knuckle-dragging class.”

Armitage told The Daily Maul that he “put together the pieces of discovery” after reading a report in the November 21 edition of the Morning Sentinel (Maine), which explained that on the previous day, “two hunters aimed their rifles at a deer in the woods. Both men, who … were hunting separately, pulled the trigger. One hunter, Christopher Austin, fired twice. His second shot blasted through the woods and hit an unexpected target: the other hunter, Gerard Parent.”

Armitage said he was “lamenting Austin’s unfortunate survival and hoping the deer got away unscathed” when he was struck by the date on which the incident took place – the same day NASA reported that “on Nov. 20, 2012, at 7:09 a.m. EST, the sun erupted with a coronal mass ejection.”

NASA’s website indicates that “CMEs can cause a space weather phenomenon called a geomagnetic storm, which occurs when CMEs successfully connect up with the outside of the Earth’s magnetic envelope, the magnetosphere, for an extended period of time.”

“That was all the evidence I needed,” Armitage said.

A page on NASA’s website that provides answers to frequently asked questions explains that “at the Earth’s surface a magnetic storm is seen as a rapid drop in the Earth’s magnetic field strength. This decrease lasts about 6 to 12 hours.”

“Parent’s carcass was added to the balance during that time frame,” Armitage pointed out.

“The question is: Can we harness the karmic influence of coronal mass ejections?” Armitage asked, rhetorically.

“If we can,” he offered enthusiastically, “we just might be able to bring about the extinction of the knuckle-draggers among us.”

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