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Monday Maul: Wearing Fur, Lady Gaga Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction

Vin Paneccasio

LONDON, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — Popular recording artist Lady Gaga was killed today in what can be best described as a beautifully violent wardrobe malfunction. Police, paparazzi, and histrionic preteen girls said the singer was brutally savaged by fur-bearing animals who’d initially looked like costume adornments.

Stefani Germanotta, who was known to her fans as Lady Gaga, was in London to re-offend the animals, animal-rights advocates, and Muslims she’d outraged in September when she attended a fashion show wearing a burka-style outfit decorated with the tails of several slain furbearers.

No sooner had Lady Gaga stepped out of her London hotel today than the foxes adorning the singer’s ridiculous costume reared up and tore into her throat in a flash of brilliantly choreographed vengeance.

“The foxes turned that narcissistic attention-whore into a pile of steaming Carpaccio in about 15 seconds,” a delighted American tourist named Monty Gelstein told The Daily Maul in a fit of hysterical laughter. “Someone should make a meat-dress out of Lady Gaga’s remains so the bitch can wear herself to her funeral.”

On condition of anonymity, an equally satisfied fox told The Daily Maul, “We needed to put the attention where it needs to be – not on some self-satisfied human monster, but on the lives that are cruelly wasted for callous and destructive photo-ops. This wasn’t an overreaction to an offensive fashion statement or personal expression. This was self-defense.”

Monday Maul cartoons are created for The Daily Maul by New York-based artist Vin Paneccasio. Providing a fix for your schadenfreude jones, while spiritually rewarding, can be physically and emotionally exhausting. You can keep us alert and fairly lucid by keeping us caffeinated. And you can support our work by visiting the Shopping Maul and getting yourself some schadenfreude-fantasy you can wear.

2 Comments

  1. deborah cox wrote:

    Lady Gaga SUCKS. Wearing real fur is just a ply for attention. And all she is getting over it is negative attention. Hey GAGA, Negative attention is better than NO attention eh??? You’re super gross and ugly. I would never A. Go to one of your shows and B. Buy any of your music.

    Friday, October 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm | Permalink
  2. David Brensilver wrote:

    Deborah,

    Thanks for your heartfelt comment!

    David

    Monday, October 8, 2012 at 10:20 am | Permalink

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