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Mouse Leads Cops to Shooting Victim, Sexual Abuse

A “bizarre string of events,” as aptly described by The Salt Lake Tribune, has provided further evidence that pharmaceutical research and testing should be conducted on humans, and not on animals.

In the video clip provided above, KSL-TV anchor Nadine Wimmer explains: “A Taylorsville man trying to get rid of a mouse in his house ended up shooting his roommate and getting another roommate arrested for sexually abusing a teenage girl. … Police say the man saw a mouse in his kitchen … grabbed a gun and fired off a round. … the bullet missed the mouse. It went through the bedroom wall and hit his roommate. … Police came to investigate and found a 13-year-old girl hiding in the basement closet. She told officers she was having a secret relationship with Paul Kunzler, 34 years old and a third housemate. Officers arrested Kunzler on sexual abuse of a child, among other things. The roommate who was shot is now recovering at the hospital.”

From The Salt Lake Tribune report: “Alcohol was a factor in the shooting, police said. … Kunzler acknowledged the relationship and various sexual acts with the girl when he was questioned.”

Clearly, the mouse in this story — by proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is more evolved than any of the humans involved — has provided ample evidence that pharmaceutical researchers have been experimenting on the wrong species. Thanks to this heroic rodent, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration can now mandate that pharmaceutical companies conduct all their research and testing on Homo sapiens.

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