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On God and Hunting Accidents: Thoughts on Interpretation

Flying BananaI recently became aware of an entrepreneurial faith-salesman who got involved in the fairy-tale business after divine intervention purportedly helped him survive a terrible hunting accident.

As reported by a shameless propaganda tool called The Christian Post, “Don Jacobson almost died in a hunting accident, but God saved and transformed his life through a series of miracles, he says, inspiring him to publish other Christians’ stories about God’s amazing deeds.”

The Christian Post quoted Mr. Jacobson as saying, “I ended up shooting myself in the stomach with a 12-gauge shotgun.”

While I don’t believe in God any more than I believe in flying bananas, it’s perhaps worth trying to convince the blessed Mr. Jacobson to reinterpret His message.

If it’s *possible that He intervened to save a future faith-salesman’s precious life, surely it’s just as likely that His intention was actually to strike Mr. Jacobson down in an effort to prevent the bloodlust-full young man from killing the other wondrous species He created.

Anticipating Mr. Jacobson’s argument that God wouldn’t have failed in that effort, one could theorize that His goal all along was to shake the foundation of Mr. Jacobson’s worldview and inspire him to spend the rest of his blessed days proselytizing about the miracle that is man’s opportunity to coexist peacefully with all of God’s extraordinary creatures.

In other words, maybe He shot Mr. Jacobson and meant only to injure the young, nonthinking human, not imagining that Mr. Jacobson would misinterpret or altogether ignore His message.

Either way, it’s possible (in this theoretical scenario) that He’s pretty pissed off at Mr. Jacobson and fully intends to revisit the situation when He gets a free moment.

* It’s not possible.

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