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Reality TV Show to Document Human-Hunting Contest


Contact: Monty Gelstein

Reality TV Show to Document Human-Hunting Contest

The Daily Maul has partnered with animal advocate and philanthropist Monty Gelstein and Schadenfreude-Fantasy Productions to produce a reality TV show called Cull of the Subhumans, which will document a 16-week human-hunting contest.

“We’re catering to a massive demographic that is saddened and enraged by the proliferation of television programs whose aim is to glorify man’s desire to take the lives of other species,” Norman Szantrough-Brichtahlt, the production company’s programming director, said. “We’ve already received a tremendous response from potential advertisers whose target audiences are haunted by the global wildlife holocaust.”

The Daily Maul’s David Brensilver said the series will have a significant interactive component.

“Animal advocates all over the world will be able to participate online by culling an initial field of 64 to 16 locked-and-loaded competitors,” Brensilver said.

Each week, one contestant will be successfully harvested until only one remains. The surviving hunter will be given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to face off, unarmed, against a predator he identified during the application process as his “dream trophy.”

“The ‘dream trophy,’ in this case, will be the ‘winning’ hunter’s head, which will be auctioned off for charity,” Szantrough-Brichtahlt said.

Reached at the Château Schadenfreude, in the French Alps, where he’s preparing for the inaugural Karmic Balance Festival, Gelstein said he conceived the reality TV series after reading a column by Richard Simms.

In his piece, which was published by under the headline “The ‘real’ reason we hunt not an option on survey,” Simms wrote: “A recent survey … by quantified the reasons that American sportsmen like to hunt. Sadly, the survey left out a critical option … I remain convinced that a key reason many, or most, hunters hunt is that they like to kill stuff. … The thrill of the hunt and the kill are nothing to be ashamed of.”

“What could be more thrilling for such proud, bloodlust-full savages than a chance to show America who’s the most macho of them all, and who’s the most fearless?” Gelstein asked, rhetorically. “Everybody wants his 15 minutes these days, and the Neanderthals among us are no less narcissistic.”

Cull of the Subhumans will take place in an undisclosed location, on a piece of property that Gelstein *recently acquired from a since-deceased fur trapper.

The Daily Maul and Schadenfreude-Fantasy Productions are entertaining offers from a host of cable networks, each of which is hoping to carry the series. Brensilver said 20 percent of advertising revenues will be donated to animal-advocacy and anti-hunting organizations.

Filming for Cull of the Subhumans is expected to begin in the fall. Hunters who are interested in competing should apply in the comments section below.

* A story about Monty Gelstein’s recent property acquisition will be published on Thursday, March 21, at


  1. John Chapin wrote:

    Only you are stupid enough to post something like this

    Tuesday, March 19, 2013 at 1:25 pm | Permalink
  2. Jess wrote:

    Only you, John Chapin, are stupid enough to comment on this.

    Tuesday, March 19, 2013 at 7:06 pm | Permalink
  3. william huard wrote:

    John Chapin is probably a hound hunter……or maybe a canned hunter. Shooting semi tame hand fed wildlife is so awesome….like shootin fish in a barrel

    Saturday, April 6, 2013 at 2:34 pm | Permalink
  4. catwink wrote:

    Awesome idea, and one we have been formulating for many years, we are working on producing a feature film with this subject matter called facility129.

    Check our website for details.

    Monday, April 8, 2013 at 4:44 pm | Permalink

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