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Tag Archives: attack

Alaska Man Mauled by Bear, Troopers Kill First Suspect They See

Law-enforcement officials in Delta Junction, Alaska, have executed a bear they hope was responsible for a local man’s death. Citing information provided by the Alaska State Troopers, the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner has reported that “a Fairbanks man was killed by a bear Thursday evening at George Lake” and that “troopers who responded to the scene […]

Taxidermy Planned After Turkey Hunter is Attacked by Bobcat

Somewhere in an alternate universe, a prideful bobcat named David is looking forward to displaying in his den the stuffed carcass of a once-bloodthirsty human. “I was out getting lunch when I smelled the foul stench of an interloping human,” David said during a telephone conversation with The Daily Maul. “Then I saw the monster, […]

Lion Attack Kills Animal-Park Intern, Or, The Lion Who Died Again

What do I think of the so-called lion “attack” that killed Dianna Hanson at a wildlife prison in Dunlap, California? I think about the lion, Cous Cous, whose life was essentially taken the moment he was locked in a cage for the convenience of those who enjoyed “admiring” him through the bars of his jail […]

Bull Attacks Florida Police Officer After Traffic Accident

WHDH-TV – A noncompliant slave was gunned down by Florida law-enforcement officers earlier this month after the truck in which he was being transported suffered a flat tire and crashed. After escaping from the wreckage, the angry slave charged and flattened responding police Sgt. Richard LaLonde of the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office. In the WHGH […]

Wounded Deer Attacks Gutless Hunter

Posthumously, a brave and spirited deer has my enduring gratitude for refusing to die senselessly and without complaint. While the deer wasn’t able to end the life of his savage assailant, he did manage to convince his murderer to kill no more. As the New Hampshire Union Leader reported, “Everett Gray said he plans to retire […]

After Attack, Whining Hunter Calls Deer a “Monster”

KPLC 7 News, Lake Charles, Louisiana Imagine my delight upon reading the headline “Deer hunter attacked by deer, fights for his life.” Now understand the rage I experienced as it quickly became depressingly clear that this was yet another sensationalism-steeped news story designed to make heroes of bloodthirsty hunters and a “monster” of their brutally […]

Monday Maul: Alligator Bites Off Florida Woman’s Arm

LAKE COUNTY, FLORIDA, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE – An unrepentant alligator named David says he was “standing his ground” when he bit off a Leesburg woman’s arm. Eighty-four-year-old Carol Hough was attacked on September 26 in a canal in the Cypress Creek Mobile Home Park where she lives. Trigger-happy wildlife authorities immediately executed another suspect, […]

Denali Bear Attack Leaves Backpacker Dead

A grizzly bear was executed last month in Denali National Park and Preserve after killing an irresponsible backpacker who got too close and hung around too long. “The hiker had photographed the bear for more than eight minutes and appeared to have come within 50 yards of the animal before he was attacked” on Friday, […]

Texas Man Allegedly Beat, Strangled, Ate Dog

KXXV-TV News Channel 25 – Central Texas News and Weather for Waco, Temple, Killeen | Would that I could rewrite history and convince Michael Daniel to commit suicide instead of brutally killing a dog. That is exactly what I thought after reading about the bastard’s “bad trip,” which left a spaniel dead. According to ABC […]

California Deer Attack Lawsuit Should Invoke Holocaust

Generally speaking, I’m not a fan of the hyper-litigious among us. Sometimes, though, he who is hell-bent on taking his pound of flesh from the ruling class deserves a little encouragement — if not a bit of direction. A report in the Marin Independent Journal tells us that “a Bolinas (California) man who says he […]