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Tag Archives: black bear

Massachusetts Official: Euthanizing (Shooting) Bear was “Last Resort”

Not to be outdone by their counterparts in Connecticut, who “executed a black bear who dared to behave like a black bear on private property,” as reported here yesterday, gestapo officers in Massachusetts have assassinated a black bear who threatened to inconvenience motorists. As Newton Tab reporter Trevor Jones explained in a June 3 news […]

Connecticut Officials Execute Bear Leaving Cubs Motherless

In their infinite wisdom (insert sarcasm here), officials — or should I call them cowboys? — at the Connecticut Department of Energy and Environmental Protection executed a black bear who dared to behave like a black bear on private property, leaving her cubs motherless. According to a news release issued on May 29 by the […]

Bear Euthanized, Cub Orphaned After Florida Attack

Central Florida residents have long been encouraged to appreciate and peacefully coexist with bears — unless, of course, a bear dares to wander out of residents’ nightmares and onto their streets. With the 13th annual Florida Black Bear Festival scheduled to take place in Umatilla on March 31, one would-be guest of honor has been […]

Open Letter to America’s Hunting Apologists

Dear bloodthirsty cretins, You are hereby banned from a) claiming that you were “attacked” by the animal you were hunting, and b) claiming that your murder of that animal was an act of “self-defense.” Allow me to present, as an example of what henceforth will be treated with due ridicule, this lede from a story […]

Bear Doesn’t Attack, Gets Killed Anyway

Reports of a bear attacking two young campers in New Jersey last week were insultingly bogus. What we now know is that an eighteen-month-old black bear has been executed for scaring young campers in New Jersey. According to The Star-Ledger’s initial report (to which the Associated Press contributed): “The two boys, who sustained superficial wounds […]

Bear Executed for Being a Bear

Once again, a human’s encounter with another animal species has resulted in the senseless death of the latter. Oh, how we love wildlife, as long as we’re in control — as long as another species doesn’t fuck with us. We all know what happens when another animal species wanders out of the forest and onto […]