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Tag Archives: bull

Who’ll Stop Villagers in Tordesillas, Spain, from Stabbing Bull to Death?

It would please me to learn on Tuesday that animal-rights advocates in Spain had dispatched a group of impassioned activists from the moral high ground to slaughter those who’d planned that day to brutally torture a bull in the name of tradition. There would be those who say, “Peaceful coexistence can’t be achieved through violence,” […]

Florida Woman Trampled by Bull on “Cracker Day”

Get yourself a video clip of a stateside Marine rushing to the aid of a fallen civilian and you’ve got a story about selflessness. At least that’s what many nonthinking journalists believe. Case in point: A video provided to CNN by the Orlando, Florida-based CBS affiliate WKMG-TV boasts the headline “A woman in Florida was […]

Festival Seeks Volunteers for Public Executions

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CHÂTEAU SCHADENFREUDE – February 14, 2013 Contact: Monty Gelstein monty.gelstein@gmail.com Festival Seeks Volunteers for Public Executions Were you left hideously disfigured or disabled after being mauled by another species while hunting? Was your career as a matador cut short as a result of being beautifully gored by a prideful bull? Have these […]

Bull Attacks Florida Police Officer After Traffic Accident

WHDH-TV – A noncompliant slave was gunned down by Florida law-enforcement officers earlier this month after the truck in which he was being transported suffered a flat tire and crashed. After escaping from the wreckage, the angry slave charged and flattened responding police Sgt. Richard LaLonde of the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office. In the WHGH […]

Bull with Flaming Horns Fatally Gores Man in Spain

I am thrilled to report that a superfluous Spaniard was fatally gored by a bull on Saturday. A story in the Daily Mail tells us that “a reveller was gored to death by a flaming-horned bull at a Spanish fiesta … The half-ton beast charged the unnamed 45-year-old, trampling on his head and goring his body.” […]

Drunk Spaniard No Match for Half-Ton Mouse

When I first read about a drunk Spaniard being gored to death by a bull named Mouse, I immediately began to wonder how long it would take for a reenactment of the incident to be featured on Spike TV’s 1000 Ways to Die. Producers of the highly informative and entertaining series could borrow this feel-good […]