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Tag Archives: butter cow

Anti-Hunting Float to Crash Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Chicago, Ill. — Nov. 26, 2013 Contact: Monty Gelstein Dead Hunters Museum Theater to Crash Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Officials from the Dead Hunters Museum Theater, which is slated to open its doors in Chicago’s Logan Square neighborhood in April 2014, have announced plans to participate in Thursday’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day […]

Animal-Rights Activists Who Defaced Iowa State Fair Butter Cow Inspire Song

The Daily Maul presents Monty Gelstein and his Badass Band of Brutes performing “The Butter Cow,” an irreverent bluegrass waltz inspired by animal-rights activists’ defacement of the sacred “butter cow” sculpture at the 2013 Iowa State Fair. For your singing-along pleasure, here are the lyrics to “The Butter Cow”: So sacred is the cow made […]

In Iowa, Ted Cruz and Steve King to Hunt for Votes by Killing Pheasants

Now that Sen. Ted Cruz has finished reading his favorite book to C-SPAN-watching adult-diaper marketing executives, he can turn his attention to blowing pheasants out of the sky with the ever-loathsome Rep. Steve King. It was nearly two years ago, in December 2011, that petulant Republican presidential candidate Rick “Rooster” Santorum pandered for the drooling […]

Gelstein to Commission Fire-Breathing Tofu Dragon to Melt Butter Cow

SOMEWHERE IN IOWA, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — Wealthy philanthropist and animal-rights advocate Monty Gelstein has announced his intention to commission an interactive art installation “to be deployed at the Iowa State Fair” next summer. “The goal, here,” Gelstein said, “is to finish what Iowans for Animal Liberation started.” That group claimed responsibility earlier this […]