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Tag Archives: drunk

Pious Drunk in Alaska Endangers Bear’s Life

On its face, a news report out of Alaska about a man’s tussle with a black bear seems to have a happy ending, inasmuch as both survived the encounter. The truth of the matter is that the bear is alive, fortunately, in large part because the human in question made it painfully (if you’ll pardon […]

Drunk Teen in Bolivia Commits Suicide by Piranha

On November 28, I invited those “who’ve abused and brutally killed animals” to apply to my River of Blood Baptism Program. Having read in the Daily Mail that “thousands of flesh-eating piranhas have infested a Brazilian river beach popular with tourists,” I knew I’d found the perfect location for my recently established human-sacrifice initiative. Imagine […]