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Tag Archives: elephant

Hunter Being Killed by Elephant Was Not a Tragedy

On Wednesday, an individual named Graydon posted a response to a commentary I published here nearly three years ago headlined “Hunter Killed by Buffalo in Zimbabwe.” “Hunters who obey the laws, who are the vast, vast majority, are in fact helping more animals than they kill,” Graydon wrote. That, of course, is a nonsensical, self-serving rationalization […]

Elephant Brutally Executed for Daring to Behave Like an Elephant

The South African Press Association is reporting that “several people have reacted with outrage at the Kruger National Park’s decision to kill an aggressive elephant bull that attacked a couple on Monday.” Add me to the list of those who are infuriated by park officials’ vengeful behavior. The gist of the story is that a […]

Why Hunters Shouldn’t Invoke Hitler When Whining About Animal-Rights Advocates

It should come as no surprise that an enthusiastic participant in the slaughter of certain populations isn’t able to appreciate the irony of invoking Hitler when complaining about the outraged resistance. Case in point: Tony Makris, the bloodlust-full host of a recently canceled hunting show called Under Wild Skies, inadvertently revealed his intellectual shortcomings (among […]

Hunter Kills Elephant, Believes He’s an Altruist

One man’s human-interest story is another man’s monster tale. An article in the June 8 edition of the Saturday Gazette-Mail (Charleston, West Virginia) would like us to believe that a loathsome thug named Frank Beller, who traveled from West Virginia to Namibia to brutally slaughter a so-called “food elephant,” is some sort of hero. The […]

Bones of Poacher Trampled by Elephant in Demand in China

A friend of mine, whom we’ll call “Jim,” told me over dinner recently that he was analyzing the “demand for dead poachers’ bones” in the Chinese marketplace. We’d been wondering — over plates of vegan lasagna and bottomless glasses of whiskey — why it isn’t more common for people to stuff and display their deceased […]

Animal Rights, Elections, and the Slippery Slope to American Barbarism

The losers of the third and final presidential debate in the 2012 election cycle were those of us who would have appreciated some tough talk about China’s complicity in the escalating holocaust in Africa. One-third of the evening’s agenda, as was indicated on the Commission on Presidential Debates’ website, had been set aside for discussions […]

Monday Maul: Elephants Kill King Juan Carlos of Spain

SOMEWHERE IN BOTSWANA, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — King Juan Carlos of Spain, who was stomped to death by vengeful elephants in Botswana today, should have realized that the bogus and insulting apology he offered after his previous elephant-hunting trip fell on rather large, deaf and angry ears. “I’m very sorry, I made a mistake. […]

Monday Maul: Donald Trump Jr. Crushed by Elephant

SOMEWHERE IN ZIMBABWE, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — Donald Trump Jr., who in March 2012 was challenged to step into the Octagon with UFC fighter Stephan Bonnar, was crushed today by an elephant while hunting in Zimbabwe. It wasn’t the first time Trump Jr. had traveled to Zimbabwe to satisfy his bloodthirst. In March 2012, […]

Don’t Blame the Elephant in the Room

The first thing I would do upon hearing a commotion outside my house is look out the window. Fifty-five-year-old Renuka Prasad chose to run into the street and was gored to death by an agitated elephant. In her CNN-IBN video report, correspondent Deepa Balakrishnan tells us: “Four jumbos that are said to have entered the […]