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Tag Archives: hunt

Hunting Porn: Depictions of Cheap Power and its Heartbreaking Cost

Photographs of hunters posing with their “trophies” never fail to sicken and enrage me. I’d planned, this morning, to write about a 16-year-old Spaniard who was recently killed during a “running with the bulls”-style event not far from Madrid. Before I began, I checked my e-mail and had a quick look around the Internet, to […]

Kennedy Granddaughter Joins Seal Hunt in Canada

I was on a bus in downtown Chicago when I heard that a Kennedy was in Canada killing baby seals. The guy sitting next to me, a chunky tourist in a camouflage baseball cap, was reading the news on an iPad. “The bunny huggers sure ain’t gonna like this,” he said to no one in […]

Hunter Kills Elephant, Believes He’s an Altruist

One man’s human-interest story is another man’s monster tale. An article in the June 8 edition of the Saturday Gazette-Mail (Charleston, West Virginia) would like us to believe that a loathsome thug named Frank Beller, who traveled from West Virginia to Namibia to brutally slaughter a so-called “food elephant,” is some sort of hero. The […]

Pippa Middleton Takes Part in Belgian Deer, Boar Hunt

Like her older sister, Kate Middleton (the Duchess of Cambridge, for those willing to recognize such ridiculous and pompous titles), Pippa Middleton is attracted to entitled barbarians whose bloodlust betrays a cretinism that contradicts their claims of sophistication and class. The Australian Associated Press has reported that “royal in-law Pippa Middleton has again found herself […]

Florida Python Harvest Prompts Competing “Problem Species” Cull

SOMEWHERE IN FLORIDA, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE – State and federal law-enforcement authorities are urging residents not to participate in the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s 2013 Python Challenge out of concern that participants’ lives could be in danger. Speaking on condition of anonymity, a commission staffer told The Daily Maul that his “superiors […]

One-Armed Cancer Survivor Murders Bison

One man’s human-interest story is another man’s serial-killer lionization. I’m referring here to a Pittsburgh Tribune-Review story whose headline, “Apollo cancer survivor bags a buffalo,” promises to introduce readers to a Pennsylvania hero. What this reader found is a bloodlust-full villain, one who deserves no less ridicule and contempt than any other murderous psychopath. Bob […]

Monday Maul: Delisted, Targeted in Wyoming, Wolves Attack Hunters

WYOMING, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — Hundreds of hunters are dead this morning after wolves launched a preemptive strike on their would-be human attackers. “We’re taking the fight to the terrorists who want to destroy our way of life,” a gray wolf named David told The Daily Maul. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service declared […]

Monday Maul: Elephants Kill King Juan Carlos of Spain

SOMEWHERE IN BOTSWANA, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — King Juan Carlos of Spain, who was stomped to death by vengeful elephants in Botswana today, should have realized that the bogus and insulting apology he offered after his previous elephant-hunting trip fell on rather large, deaf and angry ears. “I’m very sorry, I made a mistake. […]

Trump Sons Should Fight Bonnar as Penance for Hunting Trip

So unrepentant are Donald Trump’s sons in the face of controversy over their recent Zimbabwean killing spree that I can smell the rancid odor of their callous entitlement through my computer. “Grisly photos have surfaced of Donald Trump’s millionaire sons smiling broadly next to the dead carcasses of wild animals that they shot while on […]

Prince William, Prince Harry Hunt Wild Boar in Spain

Could it be that the Duchess of Cambridge declined to accompany her husband on a recent hunting trip out of concern for her well-being? With an adoring media anticipating a royal pregnancy, and the likelihood that Ms. Middleton spends her evenings watching cheap horror movies, it’s entirely possible that she’s protecting an unborn Windsor from […]