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Tag Archives: Monday Maul

The Daily Maul Cartoons, Commentaries Part of New Haven Art Exhibition

The Daily Maul is thrilled to announce that a selection of Vin Paneccasio’s Monday Maul cartoons and the commentaries they accompany are part of No, Seriously, a cartoon exhibit presented by the Arts Council of Greater New Haven, in Connecticut. From December 14 through February 1, fans of The Daily Maul can experience Brensilver and […]

NRA-Driven Constitutional Amendments Would Secure “Right to Hunt”

Voters in Idaho, Kentucky, Nebraska, and Wyoming are deciding this election cycle whether the “right to hunt” should be guaranteed under their states’ constitutions. While the Republican Party defends “the sanctity and dignity of human life,” its bosses at the National Rifle Association want to ensure that members of the drooling class have the freedom […]

Monday Maul: Internet Post Declares Halloween “National Kill a Pit Bull Night”

SOMEWHERE IN THE TERRESTRIAL UNITED STATES, ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT — A monster masquerading as a madman was found dead tonight, a discovery that has allowed federal law-enforcement officials to call off their investigation into who recently took to the Internet and declared October 31 “National Kill a Pit Bull Night.” The deceased, whose identity has […]

Monday Maul: Teach Children that the Circus Profits from Slavery

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE NEW LONDON COUNTY, CT – October 8, 2012   Contact: Monty Gelstein (860) 823-7410 monty.gelstein@gmail.com Teach Children that the Circus Profits from Slavery The Daily Maul’s David A. Brensilver and illustrator Vin Paneccasio are working on a children’s book they hope will help put circuses out of business. “We’re going to let […]

Monday Maul: Alligator Bites Off Florida Woman’s Arm

LAKE COUNTY, FLORIDA, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE – An unrepentant alligator named David says he was “standing his ground” when he bit off a Leesburg woman’s arm. Eighty-four-year-old Carol Hough was attacked on September 26 in a canal in the Cypress Creek Mobile Home Park where she lives. Trigger-happy wildlife authorities immediately executed another suspect, […]

Monday Maul: Wearing Fur, Lady Gaga Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction

LONDON, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — Popular recording artist Lady Gaga was killed today in what can be best described as a beautifully violent wardrobe malfunction. Police, paparazzi, and histrionic preteen girls said the singer was brutally savaged by fur-bearing animals who’d initially looked like costume adornments. Stefani Germanotta, who was known to her fans […]

Monday Maul: Delisted, Targeted in Wyoming, Wolves Attack Hunters

WYOMING, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — Hundreds of hunters are dead this morning after wolves launched a preemptive strike on their would-be human attackers. “We’re taking the fight to the terrorists who want to destroy our way of life,” a gray wolf named David told The Daily Maul. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service declared […]

Monday Maul: Ask Iowa Rep. Steve King to Explain Dogfighting Appreciation

Iowa Rep. Steve King recently expressed his support for dogfighting and for those who seek financial and spiritual reward through the enslavement, exploitation, torture, and murder of other species. In response, the following letter has been sent to Iowa Department of Education Director Dr. Jason Glass and members of the Iowa Board of Education. Dr. […]

Monday Maul: Catfish Noodling Goes Horribly Wrong for Paul Ryan

ALONG THE RED RIVER, ON THE OKLAHOMA-TEXAS BORDER, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — A campaign event designed to showcase Paul Ryan’s relatability went horribly wrong today when the presumptive Republican vice presidential nominee unknowingly picked a fight he couldn’t possibly win. With time running out on the Republican Party’s hopes to wrest the keys to […]

Monday Maul: Gorillas Outsmart Hunters, Destroy Traps

“… They worked on the patient, sifting handfuls of fine Triassic sand into the crankcase, cutting up the wiring, the fuel lines, the hydraulic hoses to fore and aft attachments, dumping Karo into the fuel tanks. …” — Edward Abbey, The Monkey Wrench Gang Just last night, a friend returned my copy of Edward Abbey’s […]