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Tag Archives: Utah

Utah House Approves Bill Targeting “Animal-Rights Terrorists”

Earlier this month, I wrote about a piece of legislation introduced in the Utah State Legislature that would criminalize “agricultural operation interference.” The proposed law, which was approved by the Utah House of Representatives on Friday, targets “animal-rights terrorists,” to borrow the hyperbolic language of its sponsor, the opportunistic and hypocritical Utah state Rep. John […]

Proposed Utah Law Targets “Animal-Rights Terrorists”

An opportunistic hypocrite in Utah has been diagnosed with a Senselessly Hyperbolic Inhumanity Tumor. While not uncommon, experts now believe that this type of cancer is contagious and are urging neuro-oncologists to perform lobotomies on patients suffering from SHIT on the brain. Leading researchers suspect that the SHIT on Utah state Rep. John Mathis’ brain […]

Mouse Leads Cops to Shooting Victim, Sexual Abuse

A “bizarre string of events,” as aptly described by The Salt Lake Tribune, has provided further evidence that pharmaceutical research and testing should be conducted on humans, and not on animals. In the video clip provided above, KSL-TV anchor Nadine Wimmer explains: “A Taylorsville man trying to get rid of a mouse in his house […]

Duck Hunter in Utah Shot by Dog

  Dear Mr. Cottingham, While I’m sure you’ve received many letters of condolence since your brother-in-law’s Labrador retriever, Piper, shot you in the buttocks last month, I’m actually writing to congratulate the dog on a job well done. Assuming that your head is probably still stuck in your bird-shot-riddled ass, I’ll refresh your memory. From […]