I’m pleased to report that Death paid an obviously long-overdue visit last month to Marko Tomović, a 21-year-old Serbian savage who was trying desperately to satisfy his bloodlust when Karma called.
From B92.net: “The police said that Tomović ‘saw a rabbit, that was not moving, by the side of the road.’ This prompted him to ‘run to his house and fetch a hunting rifle.'”
The B92.net report goes on to explain that Tomović “shot at the rabbit, but missed,” and chased after the elusive animal, determined to spill bunny blood.
As if auditioning for a role in my forthcoming interactive reality opera, The Curious Addiction of Schadenfreude Jones, Tomović — who I’m going to assume was stone drunk at the time (in addition to being stupid from birth) — tripped over his own scaly, webbed feet and accidentally shot himself in the face.
OK, I don’t actually know that Tomović shot himself in the face, only that “the bullet hit and killed him instantly,” according to the B92.net report.
Needless to say, I was all hopped up when I first read news of Tomović’s well-deserved death — and I still am, particularly because the rabbit survived the deceased’s harebrained murder attempt.
“Did you hear the one about the dim-witted Serbian savage who tried to kill the rabbit?” I asked aloud, speaking into a digital voice recorder.
“I’m all ears,” I said.